if(today==("1/1")) quote=("Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
-- A. J. Liebling"); if(today==("1/2")) quote=("I think Dostoevsky was right, that every human being must have a point at which he stands against the culture, where he says, this is me and the damned world can go to hell.
-- Rollo May"); if(today==("1/3")) quote=("They will conquer, but they will not convince.
-- Miguel de Unamuno"); if(today==("1/4")) quote=("Fall seven times; stand up eight. -- Japanese proverb"); if(today==("1/5")) quote=("A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
-- Stephen Leacock"); if(today==("1/6")) quote=("The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is 'what does a woman want?'
-- Sigmund Freud"); if(today==("1/7")) quote=("Autobiography is a preemptive strike against biographers.
-- Barbara G. Harris"); if(today==("1/8")) quote=("Tolerably early in life I discovered that one of the unpardonable sins, in the eyes of most people, is for a man to go about unlabeled. The world regards such a person as the police do an unmuzzled dog.
-- Thomas Huxley"); if(today==("1/9")) quote=("I want a house that has gotten over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house. -- Jerome K. Jerome"); if(today==("1/10")) quote=("I have tried lately to read Shakespeare, and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
-- Charles Darwin"); if(today==("1/11")) quote=("One of these days is none of these days.
-- English proverb"); if(today==("1/12")) quote=("It would indeed be a tragedy if the history of the human race proved to be nothing more than the story of an ape playing with a box of matches on a petrol dump. -- David Ormsby Gore"); if(today==("1/13")) quote=("I said I was going to write the truth, so help me God. And I thought I was. I found I couldn't. Nobody can write the absolute truth.
-- Henry Miller"); if(today==("1/14")) quote=("It is characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.
-- Henry David Thoreau"); if(today==("1/15")) quote=("Did anyone ever have a boring dream?
-- Ralph Hodgson"); if(today==("1/16")) quote=("We can have democracy in this country or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both.
-- Louis D. Brandeis"); if(today==("1/17")) quote=("You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. -- Charles Burton"); if(today==("1/18")) quote=("This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back again. -- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("1/19")) quote=("You are all you will ever have for certain.
-- June Havoc"); if(today==("1/20")) quote=("Every society honours its live conformists and its dead troublemakers. -- Mignon McLaughlin"); if(today==("1/21")) quote=("Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men of talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
-- Calvin Coolidge"); if(today==("1/22")) quote=("I don't give them hell. I just tell the truth and they think it is hell.
-- Harry S. Truman"); if(today==("1/23")) quote=("I like prefaces. I read them. Sometimes I do not read any further.
-- Malcolm Lowry"); if(today==("1/24")) quote=("Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need the most. -- American proverb"); if(today==("1/25")) quote=("'Let us agree not to step on each other's feet,' said the rooster to the horse. -- English proverb"); if(today==("1/26")) quote=("When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die.
-- Jean-Paul Sartre"); if(today==("1/27")) quote=("The shortest and best way to make your fortune is to let people see clearly that it is in their interests to promote yours.
-- Jean de La Bruyère"); if(today==("1/28")) quote=("Those who lack courage will always find a philosophy to justify it.
-- Albert Camus"); if(today==("1/29")) quote=("One must be a god to be able to tell successes from failures without making a mistake. -- Anton Chekhov"); if(today==("1/30")) quote=("Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him and to let him know that you trust him. -- Booker Washington"); if(today==("1/31")) quote=("to be nobody but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.
-- e. e. cummings"); if(today==("2/1")) quote=("Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble.
-- Frank Tyger"); if(today==("2/2")) quote=("The reasons which any man offers to you for his own conduct betray his opinion of your character.
-- Sir Arthur Helps"); if(today==("2/3")) quote=("Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
-- Gilbert Chesterton"); if(today==("2/4")) quote=("He who says there is no such thing as an honest man, you may be sure is himself a knave.
-- George Bishop Berkely"); if(today==("2/5")) quote=("Most people work the greater part of their time for a mere living; and the little freedom which remains to them so troubles them that they use every means of getting rid of it. -- Goethe"); if(today==("2/6")) quote=("What is said when drunk has been thought out beforehand.
-- Flemish proverb"); if(today==("2/7")) quote=("In the choice of a horse and a wife, a man must please himself, ignoring the opinion and advice of friends.
-- George John Whyte-Melville"); if(today==("2/8")) quote=("We receive three educations, one from our parents, one from our school-masters, and one from the world. The third contradicts all that the first two teach us.
-- Charles Louis de Secondat"); if(today==("2/9")) quote=("The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.
-- Anonymous"); if(today==("2/10")) quote=("True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
-- François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld"); if(today==("2/11")) quote=("The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
-- Charles de Gaulle"); if(today==("2/12")) quote=("When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.
-- Charles Varlet de La Grange"); if(today==("2/13")) quote=("Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. -- Arthur Schopenhauer"); if(today==("2/14")) quote=("It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. -- Anonymous"); if(today==("2/15")) quote=("It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle - to get one's head cut off.
-- Lewis Carroll"); if(today==("2/16")) quote=("The louder he talked on his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson"); if(today==("2/17")) quote=("Bad artists always admire each other's work.
-- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("2/18")) quote=("Generally those who boast most of contentment have least of it. Their very boasting shows that they want something, and barely beg it, namely commendation. -- Thomas Fuller"); if(today==("2/19")) quote=("Integrity is praised and starves. -- Juvenal"); if(today==("2/20")) quote=("Your manuscript is both good and original; but the parts that are good are not original, and the parts that are original are not good.
-- Samuel Johnson"); if(today==("2/21")) quote=("I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just.
-- Thomas Jefferson"); if(today==("2/22")) quote=("A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for.
-- John A. Shedd"); if(today==("2/23")) quote=("Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him. -- Goethe"); if(today==("2/24")) quote=("Few men have been admired by their own households.
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne"); if(today==("2/25")) quote=("When smashing monuments, save the pedestals - they always come in handy. -- Stanislaw Lec"); if(today==("2/26")) quote=("If someone tells you he is going to make 'a realistic decision', you immediately understand that he has resolved to do something bad.
-- Mary Therese McCarthy"); if(today==("2/27")) quote=("One says a lot in vain, refusing; The other mainly hears the word 'No.' -- Goethe"); if(today==("2/28")) quote=("A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. -- Saki"); if(today==("2/29")) quote=("A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.
-- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("3/1")) quote=("By amusing myself with all these games, all this nonsense, all these picture puzzles, I became famous... I am only a public entertainer who has understood his time. -- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("3/2")) quote=("Heat, madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones. -- Sydney Smith"); if(today==("3/3")) quote=("Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you. -- Mary Bly"); if(today==("3/4")) quote=("Laws go where dollars please. -- Portugese proverb"); if(today==("3/5")) quote=("Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -- Søren Kierkegaard"); if(today==("3/6")) quote=("Public opinion, a vulgar, impertinent, anonymous tyrant who deliberately makes life unpleasant for anyone who is not content to be the average man. -- Dean William R. Inge"); if(today==("3/7")) quote=("In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. -- Albert Camus"); if(today==("3/8")) quote=("'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had been to night school.
-- George Ade"); if(today==("3/9")) quote=("What is the use of running when you are on the wrong road?
-- Old saying"); if(today==("3/10")) quote=("Every man's road in life is marked by the graves of his personal likings. -- Alexander Smith"); if(today==("3/11")) quote=("Science is wonderfully equipped to answer the question 'How?' but it gets terribly confused when you ask the question 'Why?'
-- Erwin Chargaff"); if(today==("3/12")) quote=("If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of rubbish into it. -- William A. Orton"); if(today==("3/13")) quote=("Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. -- W.H. Auden"); if(today==("3/14")) quote=("The two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success.
-- Denny Wagner"); if(today==("3/15")) quote=("If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
-- Jimmy Carter"); if(today==("3/16")) quote=("The covers of this book are too far apart. -- Ambrose Bierce"); if(today==("3/17")) quote=("I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield"); if(today==("3/18")) quote=("The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
-- Joe Ancis"); if(today==("3/19")) quote=("Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch. -- Robert Morley"); if(today==("3/20")) quote=("I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. -- E.B. White"); if(today==("3/21")) quote=("I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. -- Noel Coward"); if(today==("3/22")) quote=("An optimist, in the atomic age, is a person who thinks the future is uncertain. -- Russell Crouse"); if(today==("3/23")) quote=("That a whole part of the middle class detests me... is utterly normal. I would be troubled if the contrary were true.
-- Simone de Beauvoir"); if(today==("3/24")) quote=("I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good. -- Oscar Levant"); if(today==("3/25")) quote=("The true snob never rests; there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon. -- Russell Lynes"); if(today==("3/26")) quote=("The National Academy of Sciences would be unable to give a unanimous decision if asked whether the sun would rise tomorrow. -- Paul Erlich, Stanford University"); if(today==("3/27")) quote=("Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. -- Ogden Nash"); if(today==("3/28")) quote=("There is no dilemma compared with that of the deep-sea diver who hears the message from the ship above, 'Come up at once. We are sinking.' -- Robert Cooper"); if(today==("3/29")) quote=("We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of William Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the internet, we know this isn't true.
-- Robert Wilensky"); if(today==("3/30")) quote=("We have become a people unable to comprehend the technology we invent. -- The Association of American Colleges"); if(today==("3/31")) quote=("The thing about farming is it's so easy; half of it is learning to kill.
-- Michael Carey"); if(today==("4/1")) quote=("After ecstasy, the laundry. -- Zen proverb"); if(today==("4/2")) quote=("Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. -- C.P. Snow"); if(today==("4/3")) quote=("There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers. -- Robert Orben"); if(today==("4/4")) quote=("When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults.
-- Brian Aldiss"); if(today==("4/5")) quote=("You can drop humans anywhere and they'll thrive - only the rat does as well. -- Jeannette Desor"); if(today==("4/6")) quote=("I have seen the science I worshipped, and the aircraft I loved, destroying the civilization I expected them to serve.
-- Charles Lindbergh"); if(today==("4/7")) quote=("I have noted that persons with bad judgment are most insistent that we do what they think best. -- Lionel Abel"); if(today==("4/8")) quote=("I have contented these people with all the many bizarre things that have come into my head. And the less they understand, the more they admire it. -- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("4/9")) quote=("A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
-- Samuel Goldwyn"); if(today==("4/10")) quote=("The cocktail party is a device either for getting rid of social obligations hurriedly en masse or for making overtures toward more serious social relationships, as in the etiquette of whoring.
-- Brooks Atkinson"); if(today==("4/11")) quote=("When in doubt wear red. -- Bill Blass"); if(today==("4/12")) quote=("I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill"); if(today==("4/13")) quote=("Texas does not, like any other region, simply have indigenous dishes. It proclaims them. It congratulates you, on your arrival, at having escaped from the slop pails of the other 49 states.
-- Alistair Cooke"); if(today==("4/14")) quote=("All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. -- Grant Wood"); if(today==("4/15")) quote=("The quality of food is in inverse proportion to a dining room's altitude, especially atop bank and hotel buildings (airplanes are an extreme example). -- Bryan Miller"); if(today==("4/16")) quote=("The imagination must not be given too much material. It must be denied food so that it can work for itself.
-- Macedonlo de la Torre"); if(today==("4/17")) quote=("The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm; then they put some ice in it to make it cool; they put some sugar in it to make it sweet, and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour. Then they say 'here's to you' and drink it themselves. -- B.N. Chakravarty"); if(today==("4/18")) quote=("You were very good playing a bitch-heroine, but you shouldn't win an award for playing yourself. -- Jack Warner, to Bette Davis"); if(today==("4/19")) quote=("All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. -- John Gunther"); if(today==("4/20")) quote=("The composing room has an unlimited supply of periods available to terminate short, simple sentences.
-- Memo to the staff of the NY Times"); if(today==("4/21")) quote=("All day long, they lie in the sun, and when the sun goes down, they lie some more. -- Frank Sinatra, on Hollywood reporters"); if(today==("4/22")) quote=("Don't get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects.
-- Richard M. Nixon, to members of the press"); if(today==("4/23")) quote=("Self-plagiarism is style. -- Alfred Hitchcock"); if(today==("4/24")) quote=("Editing is the same as quarreling with writers - same thing exactly.
-- Harold Ross, editor, New Yorker"); if(today==("4/25")) quote=("I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.
-- Julia Child"); if(today==("4/26")) quote=("I want a dish to taste good, rather than to have been seethed in pig's milk and served wrapped in a rhubarb leaf with grated thistle root. -- Kingsley Amis"); if(today==("4/27")) quote=("From the German verb tinzelle - literally, 'to book a turkey into 1,200 theaters and make one's money before word of mouth hits.'
-- Charlie Haas on Hollywood's nickname Tinseltown"); if(today==("4/28")) quote=("It is my indignant opinion that 90 percent of the moving pictures exhibited in America are so vulgar, witless and dull that it is preposterous to write about them in any publication not intended to be read while chewing gum. -- Wolcott Gibbs"); if(today==("4/29")) quote=("Editorial writers... enter after battle and shoot the wounded.
-- Neil E. Goldschmidt"); if(today==("4/30")) quote=("Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; Sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say.
-- W.H. Auden"); if(today==("5/1")) quote=("That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God. -- Albert Einstein"); if(today==("5/2")) quote=("The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character. -- Lyndon B. Johnson"); if(today==("5/3")) quote=("A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.
-- Polish proverb"); if(today==("5/4")) quote=("As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.
-- Joan Gussow, Columbia University"); if(today==("5/5")) quote=("It is a mistake for a sculptor or a painter to speak or write very often about his job. It releases tension needed for his work.
-- Henry Moore"); if(today==("5/6")) quote=("Until you know that life is interesting - and find it so - you haven't found your soul. -- Geoffrey Fisher, Archbishop of Canterbury"); if(today==("5/7")) quote=("All our final resolutions are made in a state of mind which is not going to last. -- Marcel Proust"); if(today==("5/8")) quote=("Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're going to show. -- Mignon McLaughlin"); if(today==("5/9")) quote=("Hollywood didn't kill Marilyn Monroe, it's the Marilyn Monroes who are killing Hollywood. -- Billy Wilder"); if(today==("5/10")) quote=("Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. -- Jean-Paul Sartre"); if(today==("5/11")) quote=("The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster.
-- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("5/12")) quote=("A neurotic knows that two and two are four, but he worries about it -- Anonymous"); if(today==("5/13")) quote=("A film is a petrified fountain of thought. -- Jean Cocteau"); if(today==("5/14")) quote=("At the bottom of a good deal of the bravery that appears in the world there lurks a miserable cowardice. Men will face powder and steel because they cannot face public opinion.
-- E.H. Chapin"); if(today==("5/15")) quote=("There is no such thing as conversation. There are intersecting monologues. That is all. -- Rebecca West"); if(today==("5/16")) quote=("Every generation laughs at the old fashions but religiously follows the new. -- Henry David Thoreau"); if(today==("5/17")) quote=("To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
-- Elbert Hubbard"); if(today==("5/18")) quote=("There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
-- Louis Armstrong"); if(today==("5/19")) quote=("Remember that you are an Englishman and consequently have won first prize in the lottery of life. -- Cecil Rhodes"); if(today==("5/20")) quote=("Nothing's as good or as bad as it appears.
-- Bushrod H. Campbell"); if(today==("5/21")) quote=("The jean! The jean is the destructor! It is a dictator! It is destroying creativity. The jean must be stopped! -- Pierre Cardin"); if(today==("5/22")) quote=("We must reject that most dismal and fatuous notion that education is a preparation for life. -- Northrop Frye"); if(today==("5/23")) quote=("We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about. -- Charles Kingsley"); if(today==("5/24")) quote=("I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is six to five against.
-- Damon Runyon"); if(today==("5/25")) quote=("Pleasure for an hour, a bottle of wine; pleasure for a year, marriage; pleasure for a lifetime, a garden. -- Chinese proverb"); if(today==("5/26")) quote=("I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. -- John Cleese"); if(today==("5/27")) quote=("Every good thing that comes is accompanied by trouble.
-- Maxwell Perkins"); if(today==("5/28")) quote=("Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.
-- Malayan proverb"); if(today==("5/29")) quote=("A fanatic is a man who consciously over-compensates a secret doubt. -- Aldous Huxley"); if(today==("5/30")) quote=("Don't offer me advice, give me money. -- Spanish proverb"); if(today==("5/31")) quote=("It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere. -- Voltaire"); if(today==("6/1")) quote=("Tomorrow is a satire on today, and shows its weakness.
-- Edward Young"); if(today==("6/2")) quote=("He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. -- Jonathan Swift"); if(today==("6/3")) quote=("The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. -- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("6/4")) quote=("Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life, I find. -- John F. Kennedy"); if(today==("6/5")) quote=("The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. -- George Burns"); if(today==("6/6")) quote=("Bad is never good until worse happens. -- Danish proverb"); if(today==("6/7")) quote=("It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
-- Dean William R. Inge"); if(today==("6/8")) quote=("One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. -- André Gide"); if(today==("6/9")) quote=("How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.
-- Woody Allen"); if(today==("6/10")) quote=("Every morning I take out my bankbook, stare at it, shudder - and turn quickly to my typewriter. -- Sydney J. Harris"); if(today==("6/11")) quote=("That which is escaped now is pain to come. -- Proverb"); if(today==("6/12")) quote=("Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of centipede - not because they have a hundred feet, but because most people can't count above fourteen.-- G.C. Lichtenberg"); if(today==("6/13")) quote=("Working in the theatre has a lot in common with unemployment.
-- Arthur Gingold"); if(today==("6/14")) quote=("Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead.
-- Robert S. Lund"); if(today==("6/15")) quote=("There were times, when I drove along the Sunset Strip and looked at those buildings or when I watched the fashionable film colony arriving at some premiere... that I fully expected God in his wrath to obliterate the whole shebang. -- S.J. Perelman"); if(today==("6/16")) quote=("I give you bitter pills in sugar coating. The pills are harmless; the poison is in the sugar. -- Stanislaw Lec"); if(today==("6/17")) quote=("His eminence was due to the flatness of the surrounding landscape. -- John Stuart Mill"); if(today==("6/18")) quote=("If England treats her criminals the way she has treated me, she doesn't deserve to have any. -- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("6/19")) quote=("Servitude debases men to the point where they end up liking it.
-- Vauvenargues"); if(today==("6/20")) quote=("It's easy to direct while acting - there's one less person to argue with. -- Roman Polanski"); if(today==("6/21")) quote=("Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.
-- Saul Steinberg"); if(today==("6/22")) quote=("I think anything like that - which is contemplative, silent, shows a person alone - people always feel is sad. Is it because we've lost the art of being alone? -- Andrew Wyeth"); if(today==("6/23")) quote=("Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all; the conscientious historian will correct these defects. -- Herodotus"); if(today==("6/24")) quote=("I used to go out exclusively with actresses and all other female impersonators. -- Mort Sahl"); if(today==("6/25")) quote=("The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going. -- David Starr Jordan"); if(today==("6/26")) quote=("If I knew that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
-- Henry David Thoreau"); if(today==("6/27")) quote=("The king reigns, but does not govern. -- Jan Zamoyski"); if(today==("6/28")) quote=("Those trying to explain pictures are as a rule completely mistaken.
-- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("6/29")) quote=("The middle class prefers comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to the deathly inner consuming fire. -- Hermann Hesse"); if(today==("6/30")) quote=("If you can place a toll booth on the path of least resistance, you will make a fortune. -- The Net-Monster"); if(today==("7/1")) quote=("I always suspect an artist who is successful before he is dead.
-- John Murray Gibbon"); if(today==("7/2")) quote=("The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. -- Anatole France"); if(today==("7/3")) quote=("The forgotten man. He is the clean, quiet, virtuous domestic citizen who pays his debts and his taxes and is never heard of outside his little circle. He works, he votes, generally he prays, but his chief business in life is to pay. -- William Graham Sumner"); if(today==("7/4")) quote=("Eighty percent of life is showing up. -- Woody Allen"); if(today==("7/5")) quote=("If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"); if(today==("7/6")) quote=("It is a long lane that has no turning. -- Proverb"); if(today==("7/7")) quote=("Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. -- Helen Keller"); if(today==("7/8")) quote=("The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead. -- Samuel Goldwyn"); if(today==("7/9")) quote=("In a republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll"); if(today==("7/10")) quote=("When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.
--Cicero"); if(today==("7/11")) quote=("The highway is replete with culinary land mines disguised as quaint local restaurants that carry such reassuring names as Millie's, Pop's and Capt'n Dick's. -- Bryan Miller"); if(today==("7/12")) quote=("There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
-- Goethe"); if(today==("7/13")) quote=("'Why not' is a slogan for an interesting life. -- Mason Cooley"); if(today==("7/14")) quote=("Women are most fascinating between the ages of 35 and 40 after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass 40, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely. -- Christian Dior"); if(today==("7/15")) quote=("When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on.
-- Heinrich Heine"); if(today==("7/16")) quote=("
As I was going up the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish, he'd stay away.
-- Hughes Mearns
"); if(today==("7/17")) quote=("The layman's constitutional view is that what he likes is constitutional and that which he doesn't like is unconstitutional.
-- Hugo Black, Associate Justice, U.S. Supreme Court"); if(today==("7/18")) quote=("A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
-- Arthur Bloch"); if(today==("7/19")) quote=("There was never an age in which useless knowledge was more important than in our own. -- Cyril Joad"); if(today==("7/20")) quote=("The specialist is a man who fears the other subjects.
-- Martin H. Fisher"); if(today==("7/21")) quote=("When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
-- Jonathan Swift"); if(today==("7/22")) quote=("Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year. -- Spanish proverb"); if(today==("7/23")) quote=("The most successful column is one that causes the reader to throw down the paper in a peak of fit. -- William Safire"); if(today==("7/24")) quote=("When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
-- Charles A. Beard"); if(today==("7/25")) quote=("After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box.
-- Italian proverb"); if(today==("7/26")) quote=("They pay little attention to what we say and prefer to read tea leaves. -- Nikita Khruschev, on the press"); if(today==("7/27")) quote=("We meet all life's greatest tests alone. -- Agnes Macphail"); if(today==("7/28")) quote=("I like life. It's something to do. -- Sam Levinson"); if(today==("7/29")) quote=("When that shutter clicks, anything else that can be done afterward is not worth consideration. -- Edward Steichen"); if(today==("7/30")) quote=("If a man can remember what he worried about last week, he has a very good memory. -- Anonymous"); if(today==("7/31")) quote=("If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Let me tell you, legends are all very well if you've got somebody around who loves you. -- Judy Garland"); if(today==("8/1")) quote=("The public doesn't want new music; the main thing that it demands of a composer is that he be dead. -- Arthur Honegger"); if(today==("8/2")) quote=("We will either find a way or make one. -- Hannibal"); if(today==("8/3")) quote=("Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings. -- Ed Gardner"); if(today==("8/4")) quote=("Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. -- Louis Pasteur"); if(today==("8/5")) quote=("One should respect public opinion in so far as it is necessary to avoid starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
-- Bertrand Russell"); if(today==("8/6")) quote=("When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. -- Eric Hoffer"); if(today==("8/7")) quote=("People in the media say they must look... at the president with a microscope. Now, I don't mind a microscope, but boy, when they use a proctoscope, that's going too far. -- Richard M. Nixon"); if(today==("8/8")) quote=("If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint. -- Edward Hopper"); if(today==("8/9")) quote=("Why don't you get a haircut; you look like a chrysanthemum.
-- P.G. Wodehouse"); if(today==("8/10")) quote=("Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. -- Don Marquis"); if(today==("8/11")) quote=("Philosophy is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black hat which isn't there. -- Lord Bowen"); if(today==("8/12")) quote=("No one has a closest friend in Hollywood. -- Sheilah Graham"); if(today==("8/13")) quote=("Every time history repeats itself, the price goes up. -- Old saying"); if(today==("8/14")) quote=("It is a mistake to look too far ahead. -- Winston Churchill"); if(today==("8/15")) quote=("The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -- Niels Bohr"); if(today==("8/16")) quote=("I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it. -- Thomas Jefferson"); if(today==("8/17")) quote=("That which grows slowly endures. -- J.G. Holland"); if(today==("8/18")) quote=("Art is either plagiarism or revolution. -- Paul Gauguin"); if(today==("8/19")) quote=("Every path has its puddle. -- Old saying"); if(today==("8/20")) quote=("Most history is a record of the triumphs, disasters and follies of top people. The black hole in it is the way of life of mute, inglorious men and women who made no nuisance of themselves in the world. -- Philip Howard"); if(today==("8/21")) quote=("I think popular music in this country is one of the few things in the twentieth century that have made giant strides in reverse.
-- Bing Crosby"); if(today==("8/22")) quote=("That restaurant is so crowded nobody goes there anymore.
-- Yogi Berra"); if(today==("8/23")) quote=("All I know is I'm not a Marxist. -- Karl Marx"); if(today==("8/24")) quote=("Lawyers spend a great deal of time shoveling smoke.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr."); if(today==("8/25")) quote=("A man's most valuable trait is a judicious sense of what not to believe. -- Euripides"); if(today==("8/26")) quote=("'Are you lost, Daddy?' I asked tenderly.
'Shut up,' he explained.
-- Ring Lardner"); if(today==("8/27")) quote=("A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation. -- Howard Scott"); if(today==("8/28")) quote=("I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning. -- Plato"); if(today==("8/29")) quote=("The forces in a capitalist society, if left unchecked, tend to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. -- Jawaharlal Nehru"); if(today==("8/30")) quote=("Man was born free and everywhere he is in shackles.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau"); if(today==("8/31")) quote=("I am sorry to say there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. -- John F. Kennedy"); if(today==("9/1")) quote=("Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed. -- I.F. Stone"); if(today==("9/2")) quote=("If I had read as much as other men, I should have known no more than they. -- Thomas Hobbes"); if(today==("9/3")) quote=("Let us not forget that the greatest composers were also the greatest thieves. They stole from everyone and everywhere.
-- Pablo Casals"); if(today==("9/4")) quote=("A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
-- Kenneth Tynan"); if(today==("9/5")) quote=("The absent are always wrong. -- English proverb"); if(today==("9/6")) quote=("Life exists in the universe only because the carbon atom possesses certain exceptional properties. -- James Jeans"); if(today==("9/7")) quote=("If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
-- Anatole France"); if(today==("9/8")) quote=("Men who wear turtlenecks look like turtles. -- Doris Lilly"); if(today==("9/9")) quote=("He had read Shakespeare and found him weak in chemistry.
-- H.G. Wells"); if(today==("9/10")) quote=("Hollywood is like being nowhere and talking to nobody about nothing. -- Michelangelo Antonioni"); if(today==("9/11")) quote=("The rich would have to eat money, but luckily the poor provide food. -- Russian proverb"); if(today==("9/12")) quote=("I sometimes feel that more lousy dishes are presented under the banner of pâté than any other. -- Kingsley Amis"); if(today==("9/13")) quote=("The weak are always forced to decide between alternatives they have not chosen themselves. -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer"); if(today==("9/14")) quote=("Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught hell for.
-- Earl Warren, Former Chief Justice U.S. Supreme Court"); if(today==("9/15")) quote=("I've only got one other speed, and it's slower. -- Anonymous"); if(today==("9/16")) quote=("When one admires an artist it is important not to know him personally. -- Jacinto Benaventey Martinez"); if(today==("9/17")) quote=("The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. -- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("9/18")) quote=("I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape - the loneliness of it - the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it - the whole story doesn't show.
-- Andrew Wyeth"); if(today==("9/19")) quote=("A 17-year-old from North London who called herself Twiggy made looking 17 and starved the fashion image of 1967.
-- Axel Madsen"); if(today==("9/20")) quote=("If I don't make it today, I'll come in tomorrow. -- Ruth Gordon"); if(today==("9/21")) quote=("History never looks like history when you are living through it. It always looks confusing and messy, and it always feels uncomfortable. -- John W. Gardner"); if(today==("9/22")) quote=("People in disguise speak freely. -- Arthur Helps"); if(today==("9/23")) quote=("To call a fashion wearable is the kiss of death. No new fashion worth its salt is ever wearable. -- Eugenia Sheppard"); if(today==("9/24")) quote=("Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. -- William Dean Howells"); if(today==("9/25")) quote=("A mood of gloom or longing that people mistake for profundity.
-- Paul Richard, on Andrew Wyeth's paintings"); if(today==("9/26")) quote=("To the goggling unbeliever, Texans say - as people always say about their mangier dishes - 'but it's just like chicken, only tenderer.' Rattlesnake is, in fact, just like chicken, only tougher.
-- Alistair Cooke"); if(today==("9/27")) quote=("All art is solitary and the studio is a torture area.
-- Alexander Liberman"); if(today==("9/28")) quote=("Soon after a hard decision something inevitably occurs to cast doubt. Holding steady against that doubt usually proves the decision. -- R.I. Fitzhenry"); if(today==("9/29")) quote=("Give the historians something to write about. -- Propertius"); if(today==("9/30")) quote=("You cannot hear the waterfall if you stand next to it. I paint my jungles in the desert. -- Macedonlo de la Torre"); if(today==("10/1")) quote=("Dead artists always bring out an older, richer crowd.
-- Elizabeth Shaw, Museum of Modern Art"); if(today==("10/2")) quote=("If people don't want to go to the picture, nobody can stop them.
-- Samuel Goldwyn"); if(today==("10/3")) quote=("The horse is an archetypal symbol which will always find ways to stir up deep and moving ancestral memories in every human being. -- Paul Mellon"); if(today==("10/4")) quote=("Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out. -- Anton Chekhov"); if(today==("10/5")) quote=("If they like it, it serves four; otherwise, six. -- Elsie Zussman"); if(today==("10/6")) quote=("I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.
-- Jack Warner, during a studio visit by Albert Einstein"); if(today==("10/7")) quote=("It would be unconvivial and dull to stop and arrest the flow of talk, and speak only after carefully considering whether I was telling the truth. -- Bernard Berenson"); if(today==("10/8")) quote=("Never eat Chinese food in Oklahoma. -- Bryan Miller"); if(today==("10/9")) quote=("The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success. -- David Sarnoff"); if(today==("10/10")) quote=("One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it. -- Sidney Howard"); if(today==("10/11")) quote=("I have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring. -- Dodie Smith"); if(today==("10/12")) quote=("When work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery. -- Maxim Gorky"); if(today==("10/13")) quote=("Concern should drive us into action and not into a depression. -- Karen Horney"); if(today==("10/14")) quote=("If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. -- Chinese proverb"); if(today==("10/15")) quote=("One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. -- Andre Gide"); if(today==("10/16")) quote=("He who looks for a mule without a fault must journey on foot. -- Spanish proverb"); if(today==("10/17")) quote=("Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem. -- John Galsworthy"); if(today==("10/18")) quote=("If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis"); if(today==("10/19")) quote=("In calm waters, every ship has a good captain. -- Swedish proverb"); if(today==("10/20")) quote=("Working in the theatre has a lot in common with unemployment.
-- Arthur Gingold"); if(today==("10/21")) quote=("Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life, I find. -- John F. Kennedy"); if(today==("10/22")) quote=("'Why not' is a slogan for an interesting life. -- Mason Cooley"); if(today==("10/23")) quote=("I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. -- John Cleese"); if(today==("10/24")) quote=("If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life, sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow"); if(today==("10/25")) quote=("A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
-- Samuel Goldwyn"); if(today==("10/26")) quote=("That which is escaped now is pain to come. -- Proverb"); if(today==("10/27")) quote=("The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. -- Anatole France"); if(today==("10/28")) quote=("All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. -- John Gunther"); if(today==("10/29")) quote=("The covers of this book are too far apart. -- Ambrose Bierce"); if(today==("10/30")) quote=("Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. -- C.P. Snow"); if(today==("10/31")) quote=("That a whole part of the middle class detests me... is utterly normal. I would be troubled if the contrary were true.
-- Simone de Beauvoir"); if(today==("11/1")) quote=("When the heroes go off the stage, the clowns come on.
-- Heinrich Heine"); if(today==("11/2")) quote=("To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
-- Elbert Hubbard"); if(today==("11/3")) quote=("After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box.
-- Italian proverb"); if(today==("11/4")) quote=("Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all; the conscientious historian will correct these defects. -- Herodotus"); if(today==("11/5")) quote=("After ecstasy, the laundry. -- Zen proverb"); if(today==("11/6")) quote=("I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. -- E.B. White"); if(today==("11/7")) quote=("A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
-- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("11/8")) quote=("The middle class prefers comfort to pleasure, convenience to liberty, and a pleasant temperature to the deathly inner consuming fire. -- Hermann Hesse"); if(today==("11/9")) quote=("It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere. -- Voltaire"); if(today==("11/10")) quote=("Nothing's as good or as bad as it appears.
-- Bushrod H. Campbell"); if(today==("11/11")) quote=("We must reject that most dismal and fatuous notion that education is a preparation for life. -- Northrop Frye"); if(today==("11/12")) quote=("Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. -- Jean-Paul Sartre"); if(today==("11/13")) quote=("The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going. -- David Starr Jordan"); if(today==("11/14")) quote=("Don't offer me advice, give me money. -- Spanish proverb"); if(today==("11/15")) quote=("If a man can remember what he worried about last week, he has a very good memory. -- Anonymous"); if(today==("11/16")) quote=("I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is six to five against.
-- Damon Runyon"); if(today==("11/17")) quote=("A neurotic knows that two and two are four, but he worries about it. -- Anonymous"); if(today==("11/18")) quote=("A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.
-- Polish proverb"); if(today==("11/19")) quote=("Editorial writers... enter after battle and shoot the wounded.
-- Neil E. Goldschmidt"); if(today==("11/20")) quote=("I give you bitter pills in sugar coating. The pills are harmless; the poison is in the sugar. -- Stanislaw Lec"); if(today==("11/21")) quote=("Happiness is not something you experience. It's something you remember. -- Oscar Levant"); if(today==("11/22")) quote=("The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima. -- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("11/23")) quote=("If I knew that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life.
-- Henry David Thoreau"); if(today==("11/24")) quote=("Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.
-- Malayan proverb"); if(today==("11/25")) quote=("In a republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll"); if(today==("11/26")) quote=("He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. -- Jonathan Swift"); if(today==("11/27")) quote=("If England treats her criminals the way she has treated me, she doesn't deserve to have any. -- Oscar Wilde"); if(today==("11/28")) quote=("Remember that you are an Englishman and consequently have won first prize in the lottery of life. -- Cecil Rhodes"); if(today==("11/29")) quote=("Self-plagiarism is style. -- Alfred Hitchcock"); if(today==("11/30")) quote=("It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
-- Dean William R. Inge"); if(today==("12/1")) quote=("The most successful column is one that causes the reader to throw down the paper in a peak of fit. -- William Safire"); if(today==("12/2")) quote=("Why don't you get a haircut; you look like a chrysanthemum.
-- P.G. Wodehouse"); if(today==("12/3")) quote=("One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. -- André Gide"); if(today==("12/4")) quote=("The specialist is a man who fears the other subjects.
-- Martin H. Fisher"); if(today==("12/5")) quote=("There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
-- Goethe"); if(today==("12/6")) quote=("Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're going to show. -- Mignon McLaughlin"); if(today==("12/7")) quote=("Bad is never good until worse happens. -- Danish proverb"); if(today==("12/8")) quote=("You can drop humans anywhere and they'll thrive - only the rat does as well. -- Jeannette Desor"); if(today==("12/9")) quote=("If you can place a toll booth on the path of least resistance, you will make a fortune. -- The Net-Monster"); if(today==("12/10")) quote=("Servitude debases men to the point where they end up liking it.
-- Vauvenargues"); if(today==("12/11")) quote=("To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
-- Elbert Hubbard"); if(today==("12/12")) quote=("Every good thing that comes is accompanied by trouble.
-- Maxwell Perkins"); if(today==("12/13")) quote=("His eminence was due to the flatness of the surrounding landscape. -- John Stuart Mill"); if(today==("12/14")) quote=("I have noted that persons with bad judgment are most insistent that we do what they think best. -- Lionel Abel"); if(today==("12/15")) quote=("At the bottom of a good deal of the bravery that appears in the world there lurks a miserable cowardice. Men will face powder and steel because they cannot face public opinion.
-- E.H. Chapin"); if(today==("12/16")) quote=("The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm; then they put some ice in it to make it cool; they put some sugar in it to make it sweet, and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour. Then they say 'here's to you' and drink it themselves. -- B.N. Chakravarty"); if(today==("12/17")) quote=("Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year. -- Spanish proverb"); if(today==("12/18")) quote=("Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. -- W.H. Auden"); if(today==("12/19")) quote=("The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character. -- Lyndon B. Johnson"); if(today==("12/20")) quote=("There is no such thing as conversation. There are intersecting monologues. That is all. -- Rebecca West"); if(today==("12/21")) quote=("Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. -- Helen Keller"); if(today==("12/22")) quote=("There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
-- Louis Armstrong"); if(today==("12/23")) quote=("When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. -- Eric Hoffer"); if(today==("12/24")) quote=("Editing is the same as quarreling with writers - same thing exactly.
-- Harold Ross, editor, New Yorker"); if(today==("12/25")) quote=("That deep emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God. -- Albert Einstein"); if(today==("12/26")) quote=("It is a long lane that has no turning. -- Proverb"); if(today==("12/27")) quote=("When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.
--Cicero"); if(today==("12/28")) quote=("Those trying to explain pictures are as a rule completely mistaken.
-- Pablo Picasso"); if(today==("12/29")) quote=("The forgotten man. He is the clean, quiet, virtuous domestic citizen who pays his debts and his taxes and is never heard of outside his little circle. He works, he votes, generally he prays, but his chief business in life is to pay. -- William Graham Sumner"); if(today==("12/30")) quote=("We meet all life's greatest tests alone. -- Agnes Macphail"); if(today==("12/31")) quote=("Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. -- Don Marquis"); document.write(""); document.write("

"); document.write(quote); document.write("


"); document.write(""); // end hiding script from old browsers -->