The Matrix Revolutions

THE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS

Rating: C-

The bright side: it's finally over.

From a quantum theory perspective, the potential goodness or badness of The Matrix Revolutions swirls around in a nebulous cloud of possibilities and probabilities. Only after the movie is actually observed does this probability cloud collapse, and it becomes a rather disappointing sequel. Solution to the problem? Don't see the movie.

Yes, Neo (Keanu Reeves) is back once again to save humanity from the machines, a service he's performed so often he can now do it blindfolded. Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) is also back, insuring that one or both of them will die at least once more in the other's arms before the movie's over. If you remember anything from Matrix 2, the one intriguing question raised was if Neo's being "The One" was actually just a part of the Matrix program itself - i.e., if his messianic coming was just part of the regularly-scheduled festivities and predestined to fail. Somehow, Matrix 3 manages to come and go without ever providing us with a real answer. On the one hand, The Oracle admits to Neo that other "Ones" have indeed come before him (and failed). On the other, events don't play out to really support either possibility. Suffice it to say that The Oracle is the certified queen of spouting gobbledygook. After one particular passage of meaningless doubletalk masquerading as profundity, even Neo impatiently demands, "What does that mean?" It's probably the most genuine line in the entire movie.

Looking back, there were minor indications in Matrix 1 of problems to come. It was always a bit silly that people who could survive being hurled through 12 1/2 layers of concrete would stoop to hand-to-hand combat to resolve their arguments. And when Neo jumped inside Agent Smith's body at the end, and poor Mr. Smith disintegrated in a burst of sunbeams, that never made a whole lot of sense, either. But we were having so much fun watching the rest of the movie that we let little things like that slide. However, by Matrix 3 these little unchecked problems have grown into leviathans, combining to result in a mind-numbingly pointless final confrontation between Smith and Neo. I defy anyone to explain to me what happens, or why it happens.

As with Matrix 2, the Wachowski brothers take their subject matter far too seriously, to the point of pretentiousness. (The decision to name the human city "Zion" should have been their first warning to sit back and perform a sanity check.) Neo, Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and The Oracle go around spouting platitudes as if they were reciting Shakespeare, oblivious to how silly it all frequently sounds. And the undercurrent of fun present in the first film is now completely absent.

The visual effects are impressive, especially those involving the mechanical sentinels (the jellyfish things with the orange eyes) attacking Zion. They swoop and dart through the air as if undulating through water, forming larger everchanging shapes as they amass and swarm in waves. The humans fight back with giant robotic suits, apparently inspired equally by Aliens and Mech-Warrior, that fire artillery shells and tracer bullets from their arms at a machine-gun pace. Often, the resulting shots possess an aesthetic pleasantry approaching beauty. Some scenes are reminiscent of the carnage in Starship Troopers, particularly when gigantic "driller" robots join the fray. But as visually interesting as they are, they go on way too long. Eventually we lose interest and it begins to feel like the filmmakers are just throwing effect after effect at us. Plus, the events in the "real" world were always the least interesting aspect of the Matrix story, and here they're no exception.

I guess it's inevitable to ask whether Matrix 3 was at least better than Matrix 2. I'd have to say no - it's even worse. When a friend recently showed up at my door with the Matrix 2 DVD, I was willing to watch it again. (Mostly, the second viewing just reminded me of all the reasons I disliked it the first time.) But I really wouldn't want to sit through Matrix 3 again. Ever.

I'll make a deal with you. Can we fondly remember how great the original was, and pretend the two sequels never happened? Let's just keep telling ourselves they aren't really there, and maybe they won't be...