SEARCH ENGINE REFERRALS
Some of you may not realize it, but the host server keeps a log of all visits to this site from search engines, and the search words associated with each visit. For example, say you typed "los angeles living" into Google, and a link to this site came up in the results. If you then clicked on that link, the server would record a visit to this site by someone who entered "los angeles living" into Google. Before you get too paranoid, let me assure you no information pertaining to your identity is recorded in connection with the search.
I mention this because an occasional perusal of the server logs can be both informative and amusing. As you might expect, the vast majority of search engine hits are from the names of actors, actresses, and movies (hey, this is a movie review site after all). The person entering "devon sawa forever" was undoubtedly pointed toward my review of Final Destination, although your guess is as good as mine whether he or she was satisfied with the results. There's always a delay between when I post a review and when it starts receiving a large number of hits, due to the time it takes the search engine spiders to visit the site and catalog all the newest additions. Often, a review won't start to spike until a couple of months after the movie was released in theaters. At that time I can tell without looking the movie has just been released in video or DVD.
Among the most common searches which lead people to this site is "ordinary people", although one can never be sure if that's due to the popularity of the movie or just an advantageously high placing in one of the search engine's rankings. Realistically, it's probably a combination of both. Among the popular non movie-related items are the aforementioned "los angeles living", as well as "home theater systems" and anything related to "SUV" and "danger". This last topic seems particularly hot at the moment, so much so that the two SUV articles on this site have been virtually ringing off the hook since they were uploaded. (Note to self: obtain lots of cheap website hits by writing about trendy topics.) Getting back to movies, there was a very noticeable rise in visits just after the Academy Awards last year, and the trend continued through the following month. In that particular case, the biggest attention-getter was Boys Don't Cry, presumably because many people knew almost nothing about it and went diving for the search engines after lead actress Hilary Swank took home an Oscar. It'll be interesting to see if a similar rise in hits is observed this year, particularly since I take pleasure on this site in deriding the whole Academy Award process (although I'll admit they seem to have improved the last couple of years). (Note to self: don't bite the hand that feeds you.)
Some users aren't content with merely entering a movie name, and resort to further specifics. The person searching for "the dove in mission impossible" was sent to my review of Mission: Impossible 2 where I do, in fact, briefly discuss that silly dove. If he was looking for enlightenment regarding its symbolic meaning, however, I fear I was of little help. Tell me and we'll both know (but at least one of us still won't care). The many persons entering "1967 Shelby GT 500" are pointed to the review for Gone in 60 Seconds. Since the search engine synopsis and the page title itself make it painfully clear that the car is discussed only in terms of its importance in that particular movie, I assume the people who click the link are also interested in the movie. At least I hope so. Those people entering terms such as "big kahuna meaning", "blair witch sucks", or (my favorite) "magnolia what the fuck" were obviously looking for certain analyses of those films. And I was happy to be of service. Then there are searches where I read the words people used and think to myself, "Huh?" When I saw that "tight gray shirt" somehow led someone to my site, I had to follow the link to remind myself that I discussed Lori Heuring's distractingly tight clothing in The In Crowd. My first reaction to "kawasaki stickers" was similar to that other guy's question about "magnolia". But then I followed the link to my review of Mission to Mars, where I complained the product placement was so obnoxious they even had Kawasaki stickers on the Mars rover. And I still wonder if the person who typed in "child bangs head" was surprised when it led him or her to a review of Bless the Child. I know I was.
The most humorous hits come from search engine results which misconstrue my site's content. When I reviewed The Perfect Storm, I predicted tongue-in-cheek that the film would cause a barrage of "Diane Lane naked" requests of internet search engines. The ironic part is that not only was I right, but those requests started being directed to my webpage because the words matched. I can only imagine all the adolescents who went away frustrated. Then in my review of X-Men, I cynically opined that much of the teenage male audience would be less concerned with the plot and more concerned with whether Famke Janssen had any nude scenes. You can guess what happened - now not only every "famke janssen nude" request, but also every "x-men nude" request gets directed to my site. I swear I didn't do it on purpose. Talk about having to be careful of what you say. Then there was my review of Hollow Man, where I pointed out there was no reason Kevin Bacon had to be nude when he tested his invisibility serum. I also happened to mention that the lead actress was Elisabeth Shue. So now I keep getting visitors looking for "elisabeth shue nude." And all I can say is, this one's really not my fault.
Finally, you may remember my article on censorship, where I recalled accidentally stumbling upon a website containing aut*psy pictures and other equally depraved and disgusting sights. The whole gist of the story was about how much of a loser anyone is who would post such crap in a public forum. Unfortunately, my site has since been visited once or twice by someone looking for "pictures of aut*psies" (without the asterisk). I really hope they were disappointed.
